||[Nov. 4th, 2005|12:43 pm]
This is the place where you post what you cannot p
|||||Ryan Halverson complaining||]|
god i feel like the only sane one anymore although i may be wrong. i am so sick of shelby and ryan and there ignoring me game... Alex and Ryan are my only friends currently (sadly)well the only people i trust. i hate school so much because of the stupid petty games... and bullshit. i love school in itself becasue in class i can totally become absorbed with it and be myself through work i turn in. my papers are the only true me. i miss my old life and want to go back to it... am i the only one? am i alone as i desperatly cling to the life i used to have... the life i need. the only real emotion i like i feel when sean looks at me. i hate admiting it but i feel like sean sees right thru me. he sees everything in my life with a slight glance. he smiles at me everytime i see him and hes sitting two seats away right now and i see the back of him... but i couldnt tell him how he makes me feel... i couldnt tell anyone. maybe i should... bleh... he knows me and my past somehow but i know he does... we used to be such great friends... secretly... no one saw it. we used to hang out... i wish i could go back but now i cant. i think i better get back to my computer class. my teacher is on to what i am doing....i will update again here soon i hope...